It has been such a long time since you were here that I am starting to forget you.
Since you left ‘Anger’, ‘Frustration’ and ‘Depression’ have moved in and they are not that fun to be around. They never want to do anything, I’m not allowed to open the curtains and they don’t like visitors. I have tried several times to ask them to leave but they just don’t listen. They nestle down even cosier in their seats and just stare past me. Even when I scream and shout at them to go, they do not flicker in response.
Sometimes ‘Grief’ comes to visit too but I don’t like his visits. He is worse than others, he demands all of my attention and I can’t get anything done when he is here. All he wants to do is sit and cry. At first that was ok but all that crying gets really tiring.
The place is not the same without you. The walls and furniture remain the same however the place seems more sombre. The rays of sunshine that used to stream through the window no longer do. The birds do not sing sweetly in the garden and the house is so bleak and cold.
I don’t tell anyone but ‘Depression’ sneaks into my room at night as I try to sleep. He whispers dark words to my ears that make my blood run cold. He tells me that you are gone forever and I’ll never see you again. Eventually his mutterings are silenced out by the sounds of my sobs. In those dark moments I cling on tightly to your last words you whispered as you left – “I’ll be back”.
I thought I ran into you the other day but it turns out it was ‘Drunkness’. She reminded me a lot of you at the start and we had fun dancing (although she does not dance very well) but after a while some of her friends arrived ‘Crazy’ and ‘Paranoid’. ‘Crazy’ told me you were down at the park, I went down there calling your name but I couldn’t find you. For some reason ‘Crazy’ thought that was really funny. I was only saved when they fell asleep in the corner. I hope they don’t come back any time soon.
I can imagine you somewhere in the sun right now, hanging out with ‘Confidence’ and ‘Laughter’. I miss them too, Please tell them to come back when you do. They are much nicer to be around than my current guests.
I want you to know that it will be safe to come back soon. I’ve started to pack the bags of the others as they have overstayed their welcome. I’ve been having secret conversations with ‘Courage’ and she has been telling me how to make them leave.
I often think about the good times we shared, days at the beach, holidays with family or even those moments just you and I sitting having coffee. I miss those times and I miss you even more. I hope to see you soon.